Get Your S*!t Together: Tips for Goal Setting, Self Care and Confidence Building

Written By: Grace Gonzales

As a kid I always dreamed of the life I would be living when I was graduating from college, moving into an apartment, and finding my career. Slowly, I've seen this future life become my present day and I have worked hard to set myself up to live the life I want. Through this transition, I've witnessed some major ups and downs of learning how to be an adult in the crazy world we live in. As the start of the school year is here, I have graduated college and I am not going back to school for the very first time, implementing a routine, planning for my life, and boosting my own confidence is heavy on my mind. There's no gatekeeping here, so these are my best tips for those of you who are simply just trying to get yourself together in a time of transition!

Set life goals and routines to structure your days

For me, when I was in school, my daily schedule was mainly regulated by my school schedule and then everything else would get pieced together. Now, without the demand of a class schedule, I have come to the realization that I am a person who needs to have a routine. Personally, I feel as though without one, I become highly unmotivated and will fall into a depressive mindset, which is never good. With this in mind, I made a point to sit down, think about my goals and plot out how I would go about achieving them to get me started!

This process really looks differently for everyone, which is an important thing to acknowledge. Whether you thrive off of a highly detailed, time sensitive schedule to plan out the day or you just need a simple to-do list, being intentional with your goals and organizing plans is a great way to start! Although this sounds simple, it's really not all that easy and it takes practice to get into the swing of things. It can be frustrating at the start, but its the effort that counts! Personally, when I feel bogged down by trying to get organized or start a new project, the only way I ever get through it is by being understanding of myself, acknowledging my efforts, and setting aside time to calm down and refocus. At the end of the day, we're all just trying our best FOR OURSELVES, not anyone else.

Don't forget to have fun and make time for YOURSELF!

Life is all about balance...without it you can end up feeling extremely lost. I have witnessed people in my life become so obsessed with the idea of "success" and have such urgency to be "successful", which leads them to only put their energy into what will get them there. Whether they know it or not these people tend to have a real disconnect to themselves and the people around them as they exist to fulfill their extrinsic desires which in turn, neglects their intrinsic values and needs.

As important as it is to have goals to pursue, it is equally as important to make time and space for expressing creativity, connecting with yourself, building community and simply exploring the many opportunities that life has to offer. Not only does this give alternatives for when you need a break from the hustle, but allows you to find things that fuel your inner desires. Think about the saying "Don't put all your eggs in one basket" and put it into the perspective of life. If you're putting all of your energy into one goal, what happens when things don't go as planned or the goal changes? There is no balance and you have to start again from almost nothing. That doesn't sound like something I personally want to endure. Rather, I want to live a life full of pursuing different passions while still having the motivation to work towards my own idea of success, without feeling the pressure of comparison to others.

Change the way you view yourself...

Figuring life out as an adult, is something that can only really be learned by jumping right in. Throughout this process, there is a jumble of thoughts and emotions while finding your path and this is something EVERYONE goes through because everything is so new and there is no book of directions. This leads to the common feeling of "Imposter Syndrome", which can be detrimental to a persons growth if they let it. But the truth is...you're not an imposter!

The feeling of not belonging really just comes from your own comparison of yourself to those around you, along with self doubt. Telling yourself you don't belong or that you don't know what you're doing, won't get you far! Instead, think of all that you have to offer and visualize yourself in the position you want to be in. You could do this by repeating positive affirmations to yourself everyday in the mirror or taking a pen and paper and writing down your strengths! Making a conscious effort to think of all the positive qualities you have and bringing them to the forefront of how you present yourself is key. Not only will this allow you to boost your own confidence but will also make others see all that you have to bring to the table.

BFFR: Be F**king For Real

In order to see positive change within yourself and your life, you have to get real with yourself. Everyone has faults or things that could be worked on, but are we going to let that define us? Absolutely not!

It's time to get honest with ourselves and problem solve to get us where we want to be physically and mentally. In relationships with others, in career paths, in health/wellness, etc., it is important to be mindful of the good and the bad, to have a realistic perspective of where you stand. We all have work to do, and that might be the hardest part to come to terms with, but is extremely rewarding in the end! Personally, I love to receive feedback from others, not to be negative, but to open myself up to see where I would like to grow. If that's not your style, personal reflections on situations in your life can be a place to start. Overall, being able to be straightforward and accepting of yourself fully, is the best way to stay in touch and level up.

Celebrate your accomplishments (Big or small) !!

With all the work you put into yourself to get up and keep going to better yourself, you deserve to celebrate! Taking time to appreciate your own dedication to yourself is what matters and ultimately will help you keep going. There will be times that people around you may not see the value in the steps it takes to get to do the things you're passionate about, or even be critical of your path so it's up to you to keep encouraging yourself and fill your space with people who do value your accomplishments. Don't let anyone kill your vibe!